I Pooped In The Bush

Salupangkang, February 6th 2015.

 Dear friends,

 Being here at my uncle's little house in the middle of empang and  under the glaring Salupangkang's sun, makes me realize how ungrateful i am with all  facilities and comfort that I have at home. My ordinary life at home  might be a luxury for other people. There's must be somebody would kill  to switch place with me.

A day without clean water and decent toilet can  turn me crazy. An hour without phone reception makes me anxious,  glaring at signal bars. A humid and dirty places makes me sweat like a  pig and then soon itches spreading on my delicate  skin. Cold  temperature would affect my nose and turned it to rivers. And sleep a  night on the floor make my muscles and back ache for the next three  days. Yes, I admit it, I am a big soft whiny baby.

 Visiting my  uncle's place  never occurred in my mind before. It's in a remote area  that you can only  reached by foot or motorcycle if you have a riding  skill level God. We have to crossed vast palm farms, Balinese village,  corn fields, dams, and endless ponds that contained with bandeng fishes.

 As soon as I got here, I asked my uncle where's the toilet. I have to pee. He  take me to the back yard, and with an evil smirk on his face show me the  place they called public toilet, an open air toilet he said, corn fields!, no way!!. No walls, no  holes, just a field. Chose a tree he said. Oh, okay, I know what it  mean. So, i did it and leaked on it hahaha. I wanted to wash my hand, he  pointed to the right, at the corner beneath a big tree there's a well  with yellowish --like tea-- water in it, and its smell (when you put a  bucket of water under your nose, and sniff it) like a ... I don't know  what to call it, it's a mixed of soil, dumpsters and a little bit dead mouse smell in it. I gagged,  groaned NOOO!!. I won't let that water touch my skin even to wash my  hand. My uncle just shrugged and offered the water that supposed to be for our  drink in the kitchen he took from a mosque's well three kilometers from  here, but i refused. I'm not that evil. I'll endured this torture, I  just have to strengthen my stomach and nose in the next three days.

I asked my uncle what should I do when I need to poo?. It's easy he  said, I just need to pick a good spot, where people can't see me. The  best spots are at bushes that surrounded corn field. Just squat, and do  your business.

 What??? Really???. Are you kidding me?? I can't believe my ears. But,  but, but, What if there are people walk by and see my smooth like a  baby's butt?. What if they snapped a picture of me pooped in a corn  field? What if they ask me politely is spot next to mine is free, and if  they can do their business next to me?. What if they tell me I'm on  their favorite spot?. He just smirk and said cover your face with sarung, so no body  will see your face and vice versa.  I told him I can't live a lifestyle  like this. I can't even survive for a day. I still don't understand, in 2015, there are people who thinks toilet is not an essential part of the house.

And suddenly a thought crossed  my mind. Is that why these corn trees look so healthy?. Are our poop  supposed to be fertilizers for this field?. Huekksss... I'll never eat  corn ever again. I wanted to ask him about it but he already back to the  house.

 But hey, I already survive one and a half day here. And I tell  you a secret, I pooed in the bush this morning. I can't help it, early  morning my stomach churned, I want to poo so bad.  I ate two plates of  rice and a big bandeng fish for dinner. So, I gulped and summoned all of  my courage. I rushed through the back door, and look for a best spot in the  bush. And squat. At first twenty seconds I feel dreaded, and look at  surround me wildly, but then I feel calmer and even enjoyed it.  It felt  great and very natural. You should try it too, sometimes. It's good for  you, it can help to improve your self esteem.

And no, I still not eat  that corn yet, but my uncle cook them in the kitchen now.